So Simple and Clean

"Simple and clean is the way you are making me feel tonight. It's hard to let it go..."

So many times have I sought for your eyes. Where they always there? Waiting for me? Was it fate? Was it our destiny to meet each other?
Sometimes I feel scared. I know we won't end up scarless... Wounds open up with time... Is inevitable, a break up?
I met you in April. The 9th. You were standing near ADN, waiting for the concert to start. So joyful you were, your smile I remember very well. Your hair was long 'till the shoulders and you were wearing an "Oceanborn" t-shirt. You were laughing at something... And I didn't know WHO you were though we had already chatted. And YOU knew who I was, but you didn't mention it. Nor did my friends since they assumed I knew who you were. I found you too cute to be true. I remember that. Despite feeling attracted to someone else, I very well remember those eyes.
I departed and never saw you again until June, in a concert. And you held my coat for me. Was I too friendly to you? Yes. I thought you were utterly trustworthy.
June passed. Tears fell from my eyes all the time. Such a waste... to be with that guy who didn't really love me. Who didn't feel a thing for me. But it didn't matter, despite those gloomy 3 months, I wanted to stay with him... but still, I chatted with you and told you my problems and concerns. You advised me, although you were only 15 years old at that time. So young, I thought lots of times.
Winter holidays. Could they have been worse? Of course they could! I was completely left alone. No friends, no boyfriend. Well, he was there but he wasn't... At least, not emotionally. That 12th of July was the worst for me. We fought, we became distant and the month passed. Horrible things happened. My self-esteem was underground, I felt... such ugliness not only in myself but also in the people who surrounded me.
But YOU were there. Virtually, but that meant so much to me...
27th July, everything ended. I cried so much. I wept all the time. I screamed and hit doors and walls. You were so concerned.
My birthday, you were there. Although you didn't want to come. You came and I hugged you... I know you were surprised. But I was in need of affection. I cried that day... longing for my ex-"something". August was strange and soon, in September we started seeing each other more often.
You used to come to my school. We would sit around and chat until 9 pm. That was really wonderful and fun. You made me cheerful. You passed your youth to me... September passed and October came, and we started to hang out on weekends. Going to the cinema, to Indian. Those days were glorious! And I still remember everything. Every... little... thing.
19th November. Our first kiss. Do you remember? Of course you do, you always like to recall those days. We were slightly drunk... Though I felt it was wrong, those days in between our first kiss and our second kiss were so rare. I knew I liked you, I knew I wanted to be with you but it was so difficult. I thought you were too young for me.
And then... Our 2nd kiss. Two hours before I was telling you "I don't want this to happen again... because I don't want to lose your friendship. I care about you" but then, we kissed again... and again and again. And days passed...
A dreadful summer hit Rosario. Who did we manage to cope with it? I certainly do not know. Air conditioning, maybe. But everything was sticky.
December... The 17th. I thought over your proposal, to start dating. I think I spent a week thinking and that day, finally told you "Yeah, I want to start dating with you" I sounded so cold, you told me that, and I know... But... who knows what crossed my mind? I thought we wouldn't last.
January and February were awful months. I hurt you so much... I opened some old scars and maybe some new ones. It wasn't my intention, I assure you and if I could turn back time, I would totally erase everything I did those 2 months.
One day in Funes you told me, for the first time "I love you". And I said "I love you too" though I was drunk... Then I took it back. I shouldn't have done that. I will never forgive myself that.
But things started to change inside of me. Feelings for you started to grow...
In March we passed one of the best days of our lives: We went to see The Gathering's concert! And I failed Law's School exam, haha.
April, 9th. A year since we first had met. I gave you an MP3 player as a present. Never knew if you liked it or not.
And then everything started to be just perfect. I started loving you and feeling everyday so special, so very much loved... That now I can't even imagine a day without you. If you leave me, I die inside. If you leave me... I would be completely lost... because you always hold me up, you never let me fall. Your kisses bring me back to life... If you don't hold my hand for an hour, I feel desperate. I need you... Your love, your affection. Everything. There is NO person that I find attractive. Just you. You are my love, you are everything that I need. I know you will never let me down... I know you will never abandon me. And I will never abandon you, because... what will I ever do with all the love I feel for you?