Passion

Sanctuary

He hated himself. He was despicable. His hands were dirty with blood, his whole body was impure, and he had committed the most deadly sins… His mere birth was a sin.

He just wanted to die, but he couldn’t do it. The blade was too cold… though it was calling him, silently through darkness, he could hear the twisted voice, laughing…

The structure of his pride was tearing itself down; there was nothing he could do to rebuild it.

The room was silent; the only sound anyone could hear was his accelerated breathing. He was laying down on the bed, it looked as though he was dead. He still remembered when Aya was a little girl, and they both played together.

They had made a promise… A promise that still haunted Aki.

- You’ll never leave me, right, oniichan?-

Aki smiled widely. Aya looked at him with sweetness in her beautiful blue eyes.

- I’ll never leave you, you’re my little sister.

But he had failed… Aya was gone now. He’d never hear her joyful voice again. Sometimes he tried to think, “What would Aya do, or say, in a situation like this?”. She’d probably hit his oniichan really hard and say something like “You can’t give up! That’s not what we do!”

He always knew Aya was strong, somewhere in her heart strength had its place, but so had kindness and sweetness. There was no evil in her… so… why?? Why did she have to die?? Why did God wanted her?? Her beautiful sister… The most beautiful being on Earth. Was God jealous of him? Maybe that’s why He took her.

He drank vodka. Alcohol, drugs and cigarettes were killing him; he was dying slowly… and in the most pitiful way. He wouldn’t stand up; he wasn’t going to do it. His legs were too weak, his body was too injured, and his soul was numb.

He looked at the blade one more time and he took it. He would be with her soon. “No pains, no gains” he thought. He cut through his veins and saw the reddish liquid falling down, almost causing him tickles. He smiled as he saw his blood… It hurt, but it was worth it, he just wanted to see her.

- I’m coming to you, Aya…

And there she was, like an angel. Her golden hair, her peaceful blue eyes and her radiant smile. He didn’t feel pain, just happiness… He was finally with her. She embraced him tenderly.

He was going back to his Sanctuary…

---

No sé por qué me dio por postearlo ._. Lo escribí hace un tiempo.

Imperfect Tenses

Why can't they see?
They're to blame, I can't forgive
It left a permanent mark behind,
My weakness, my strength

I'm waiting for the perfect sign
To reveal what lies inside
There's no lie in trying,
Why do you fear me?

Why can't you see?
There's neither blame nor forgiveness
Be strong by being susceptible,
And don't quail; your frankness is your strength
And shows their weakness

I'm / Your waiting for the perfect sign
To reveal what lies inside
There's no lie in trying
Why do you fear me?

Why should I fear you?
An open heart is just as confronting as honesty!

Why can't I forgive?
You must stop to condemn the past

Why can't this fear be my guide?
It will be your strength if you dare

There's no blame in my life
Nor forgiveness for the pain

I will show them!
Let them know who you are!
This is my/your perfect revelation


After Forever · Imperfect Tenses

Creo que la letra habla por sí sola. Hay canciones que no puedo escuchar, me hacen evocar recuerdos (malos, buenos, lo que sea). Me llevan a años atrás, meses atrás, semanas atrás. Es la obsesión que generamos por lo que nos identifica; nos gusta tanto que la escuchamos una y otra vez. Hasta que la obsesión se va y encontramos otra cosa con la que sentirnos identificados. Cuando por casualidad, por el mero "Shuffle" aparece esa canción, podemos recordar miles de cosas. Yo hasta lloro.

I can love your contradictions

Let's not talk about priorities.
If there's anything better, you just take it. You just go.
And... what about my sacrifices?
"You can wipe your ass with them. I didn't ask for your sacrifice. I don't ask for anything. Even if you do sacrifice for me, I won't. That's what my personality is like. You can forget about happy endings. Fighting for your significant other? Haha, this is no movie. I'm sorry, that's just the way things are."
This is what you think. Is there any way of making you think different? I believe not. Lately, you're so selfish and let's not talk about your ego.
Let's not...
I'm lacking of something...
Happiness? Sadness? Joy?
This is all emptiness.

But I guess I can be downhearted and love your contradictions... That's my sacrifice.

Veo Veo

Veo, veo
¿Qué ves?
Una cosa
¿Qué cosa?
Maravillosa
¿De qué color?

Podría decir que mi mente es tan poderosa que imagino cosas que aún no han sucedido y lloro por mi desgracia venidera e imaginaria. Sí, ya sé, estoy un poco loca. Pero, seamos sinceros ¿Cuántas personas leen esto? Probablemente pueda contarlas con los dedos de las manos. Nadie llorará por mi sanidad mental, y si yo elijo fantasear con mis desgracias y darles la bienvenida, calculo que es mi problema. El tiempo lo cura todo, pero yo digo que el tiempo tiene demasiado tiempo para él y poco para nosotros.

~*~

Mi mente (y la de muchas otras personas) aplica colores a todo lo pasado. Así, el año 1999 fue gris, el 2000 fue amarillo, el 2001 fue celeste, el 2002 fue marrón, el 2003 fue plateado, el 2004 fue azul marino, el 2005 fue verde esmeralda, el 2006 fue violeta, el 2007 fue lila... y el 2008 aún no puedo ponerle un color. La verdad no sé, creo que surge espontáneamente en mi mente y digo "Sí, es éste. Va perfecto, me encanta." No pretendo apresurar a mi mente para que se digne a ponerle un color a este año; perdoname mente, pero realmente estoy ansiosa por ver cómo juzgás estos 12 meses pasados. Si YO, Juliana, tuviera que poner un color, probablemente sería negro. Negro como la nada, negro como un agujero negro.
No pretendo que se convierta en el típico resumen del año (bastante tardío, en realidad, pero es lo que hay) pero sentí la tremenda necesidad de descargarme y hacer el primer post de 2009. Espero que este 2009 sea un año con un color brillante, así como los fueron (extrañamente, locamente, paradójicamente, ¿eh?) los años impares.

~*~

Mi vago intento no funcionó. Mis sentimientos ya fueron. Punto.

I feel [less] lonely

Some things are just inexorable.

Hoy hace 3 meses que tengo 20 años y todavía no hice nada productivo.

· 13/11 · Español.
· 17/11 · 1 año y 11 meses.
· 19/11· 2 años del primer beso.

Economicidad de los sentimientos

Me duele y no sé dónde refugiarme.

· Decode // ·

Pasó septiembre como un flash. Maldito mes escurridizo... Por suerte todo bien. Promocionaré una materia y aprobé Gramática, que tanto miedo le tenía... Ahora me empiezo a preparar para el final.
Mañana supuestamente sale Amanecer de Stephenie Meyer. Y mis intentos por conseguir el libro en inglés han sido en vano. Patético que Rosario reciba los libros "15 días después de Buenos Aires". Ok, no es Harry Potter pero tampoco es un librito cualquiera.

"I Was Bitten By Breaking Dawn"
"Team Jacob"
*-*
·Ashley Greene/Alice Cullen·

En fin. No sé ni por qué escribo. Es un post muy random. Muy. Estoy re maricona, escuchando Paramore y Linkin Park (Dónde quedó Dimmu?).



Qué random...
"That's so gay"